Possibilities Playground Newsletter

You Deserve To Be Loved!

Have you ever responded to the term self-love by thinking “I take care of myself: I’m fairly active; I eat decently; I buy pretty things for myself now and again; I enjoy having my nails done regularly; and, when I really get stressed out, I treat myself to a massage.”

Yeah, I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s just scratching the surface of what “self-love” really means. Let’s break it down, shall we?


This is more than just your body and mind: it’s your spirit. It’s the intangible part of you that you know best. It’s the “real” you – the “higher” you – whatever you call it, usually taken for granted because you do have other people and things to take care of, too.

More than that, when you take care of your Self, it shouldn’t be for the sake of others or based on what someone else suggests (including me). If you really have your Self in mind, it comes from inside and not a checklist.


Love is appreciation on steroids and true love is unconditional, right? It’s based first on self-acceptance. After all, if you don’t accept yourself, how can you possibly love yourself? When you accept and love yourself, judgment melts away (and that’s incredibly refreshing!)

Here’s one other tidbit about love: it’s a verb, which means it’s a behavior. Love is what we do, how we show up, the way we speak, what we think, how we treat each other and ourselves.

So, are you really loving yourself when you:

  • berate yourself into going to the gym because you’re fat?
  • tell others you have to get your nails done because they look like crap?
  • convince yourself you have to carry around that crack berry because if you don’t you aren’t worthy of a promotion (or worse, your job)?
  • multitask by making to-do lists in your head while getting a massage or having sex with your special someone?
  • [insert anything else that comes to mind]

How is any of that demonstrating appreciation or unconditional love for your Self? STOP. Re-read that question again.

If you didn’t judge yourself to be less than the fabulous person you really are, what would that look and sound like?

Nowadays, when so many of us are moving at light speed day in and day out, trying to keep it all together, it’s hard enough to keep any of our big dreams alive. Add to that the lack of self-love we give ourselves and it’s no wonder we remain in a rut, just able to keep our heads above water.

What if you took it upon yourself to be a little nicer to yourself, to appreciate the wonderful things about you, to refuel your heart so it could beat stronger with the passion that lies under the surface? What would that FEEL like?

How do I capture such wonderful, elusive feelings you ask? Well, you can do it in any number of ways. For those of you who want to get started but can’t imagine jumping into the spa day love affair I had with myself, no worries! You can start simple with a small notebook and pen by your bed. Every night before you lay down, take just a moment to answer any one, two or three of these questions:

  1. What worked well today and how did I contribute to that?
  2. What one or two things am I most grateful for today and why is it I deserve them?
  3. What one thing didn’t go so well today and rather than beating myself up for it, what will I allow myself to learn from it?

Hopefully I’ve gotten your attention and you’re thinking of the term self-love a little differently. And for goodness sake, don’t feel bad if you recognize the need to add this into your life – just be thankful for the awareness you’ve now gifted yourself.

After all, you really are awesome and if you don’t know it yet, I’ll hold the thought for you because I know it to be true.


Did you enjoy this article? Would you like to post it on your blog or in your newsletter? You may do so providing you do not alter the article or remove the following resources:

You Deserve To Be Loved! by Sara Russell of Feel the Possibilities
Visit Sara at: www.feelthepossibilities.com
Send email to Sara@feelthepossibilities.com